I've always been curious about the ocean, but a deep-rooted fear of waves has kept me from fully embracing the sea. It's a mystery when this fear took hold, but I suspect it's a combination of a terrifying encounter in Biarritz and the cumulative effect of my work as a journalist, exposing me to the darkest sides of humanity.
My job has undoubtedly played a role in eroding my sense of safety, and as a result, I've become increasingly cautious around the sea. Even though I'm a strong swimmer and love being in the water, any wave above waist height becomes a no-go zone for me. It's a sad reality, especially when I see my family enjoying the waves without me.
But here's where it gets interesting... I decided to take a leap of faith and confront my fears head-on. With a career change on the horizon, I signed up for a week-long trauma surfing retreat in Morocco. It was a bold move, but I believed it could be a transformative experience, both physically and emotionally.
The retreat, organized by Resurface, was founded by psychologist Josh Dickson, who specializes in trauma recovery and personal growth. His vision was to create a holistic experience, combining morning yoga and surf lessons with afternoon group therapy sessions.
In a pre-retreat call, Josh explained his goal of achieving a "flow" state, where the body and mind work in harmony towards healing and renewal. He emphasized the healing power of nature, sunshine, and cold water, and the opportunity to disconnect from our daily lives.
Surfing, as it turns out, is more than just a physical activity. It requires complete immersion in nature and full concentration on the present moment. It also triggers a range of beneficial hormones, including endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline, and norepinephrine, creating the perfect environment for therapeutic work.
Initially, I had booked a spot on Resurface's Reset retreat, designed to promote resilience and prevent burnout. However, fate had other plans, and I found myself on their first EMDR (eye movement, desensitization, and reprocessing) group retreat.
EMDR, developed by US psychologist Francine Shapiro in the 1980s, aims to reduce distressing emotions connected to traumatic memories. The theory suggests that traumatic events are not processed neurologically in the same way as healthy memories, and EMDR therapy uses bilateral stimulation to help the brain process and store these memories normally.
Arriving in Tamraght, a charming surf town near Agadir, I felt a mix of excitement and trepidation. The town itself is a gem, with its dusty streets, bustling restaurants, and a lovely seafront where beach camels roam.
Our home for the retreat was Riad dar Haven, a beautiful and welcoming riad. On the first night, our diverse group, spanning multiple generations, gathered for a delicious dinner of chicken with green olives and lemons, prepared by the resident chef.
The next morning, after some ice-breaking exercises led by Josh, we headed to the beach. Our surf instructors, led by the talented Youness Arhbi, were patient and skilled at guiding us, even those of us with cement hips and no surfing experience.
Each morning, we explored different beaches around Tamraght, where the waves were gentle enough to ease my fears. Being in the cold, salty water for hours was both exhausting and exhilarating. Learning to catch a wave, failing, and then paddling back out to try again became a meditative practice.
After our surf lessons, our group of 12 would gather on the beach, sharing our triumphs and frustrations over lunch. Then, we'd head back to the riad for the afternoon therapy session.
Initially, the therapy sessions felt exposing, but Josh's expertise and guidance made the process comfortable. What surprised me was that the memories and events that surfaced during the sessions were often not what I had anticipated.
As the week progressed, the EMDR sessions became the most transformative part of the retreat for me. After years of losing faith in the world, I found hope and connection in sharing my personal struggles with a supportive group. It was a healing experience that restored my faith in humanity.
As for my surfing skills, I may not have become a pro, but that wasn't the point. On my last day, the waves were bigger than usual, and I felt that familiar fear creeping in. With the encouragement of our instructor and a good cry on the beach, I persevered.
And then, in the last half-hour of the lesson, something magical happened. I managed to stand up on my board, albeit awkwardly. I raised my arms in triumph, and to my surprise, I heard cheers from the beach. The group joined me, celebrating my small victory.
This retreat, provided by Resurface, was a life-changing experience. It offered a unique combination of surf therapy and group therapy, and I highly recommend it for anyone looking to confront their fears and find healing.
Resurface offers seven-night surf therapy retreats starting from £2,500pp, including accommodation, transfers, meals, lessons, and therapy sessions. Their next trip begins on April 11th.
So, what do you think? Could a surfing retreat be the answer to overcoming your fears? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
